Onward and upward!

Like most people my age, I've spent a lot of time wandering aimlessly through life. It wasn't until recently that I realized I wanted to be a writer, and before then my lack of ambition caused me a lot of anguish. Feeling that my life was going nowhere, I started going to college. Even then I didn't know what I wanted to get a degree in- as a matter of fact, I started school as a Theater major. Throughout the year, I adored all of my classes, but I felt like I wasn't doing what I was supposed to. I enjoy acting, and I loved the class, but I just didn't see that being a career I would choose later on in life. And while psychology has always fascinated me, the class itself bored me to tears. The one class that I felt I did good in and completely enjoyed was English, the subject I've always loved.

I realized, then, that I wanted to major in English, and soon after that, I realized I wanted to be a writer. The answers seemed so obvious to me after that! Even in elementary school my test scores for reading and writing were high enough that that they wanted to bump me up a grade. I've always been motivated when it came to writing, and commonly complimented on the things I wrote. A poem I wrote for a mandatory poetry slam in high school was requested by multiple students to be submitted into an artistic compilation the school put together at the end of the year. I had simply written the poem for the extra credit my Creative Writer teacher was giving, so to be told that my poem was requested and that my fellow students had liked it was a big deal for me. It was something that I was proud of, and still am, though I don't really write poetry anymore.

The point is, I'm almost 22 years old, and I'm just now finding who I want to be in my life. Yes, I'm terrified of the future, but I'm also really excited for all the possibilities. Whereas the thought of the future terrified me before I realized what I wanted to do, now it looks a lot more promising. The fact that I know what I want gives me hope, and since I can now more accurately plan for my future, I have a lot more direction than I once did. I think a lot of people, especially around my age, are feeling that terrified feeling now. With the economy the way it is, the future is already a terrifying prospect, but to also have to work with that without direction? It's almost paralyzingly scary. But don't give up hope. If you're patient, and willing to take risks, you'll find your calling. Maybe it'll be something completely new that takes you by surprise, or like me you're calling will have been right in your face the whole time.

There's always hope. Always something to look forward to. Never forget that.