I hate being hit on. I seriously do. I mean, I like attention. I like it when people think I'm attractive. I like being flirted with. I just hate the way some guys hit on you, in the most blunt possible ways. I hate it when I'm having an actual conversation with a guy and all of a sudden he's like, "You're cute," or "I think you're really sexy." Like, okay, that's great. But we were talking about something completely unrelated to your thoughts on my physical attractiveness. And you know a guy has ulterior motives when he just randomly says something like that. Especially in the gay world, that usually translates to, "Actually talking to you is boring, I just want to get you out of your pants."
And it doesn't matter if you explicitly tell them you're not into hooking up, or you're just looking for friends. They'll still try sending you pictures of their dick, or expect you to send them nudes. But at least those one's are blunt. The worst are the ones who you think are ACTUALLY interested in being your friend, so you agree to hang out with them. Get some coffee or whatever. And as soon as you do, they think that's their in. They ask if you want to go back to their place to hang out, and when you ask them to specify what "hang out" means they say something really lewd or coyly imply something sexual. Was I not clear when I said "I'm just looking for friends?" Apparently not to some men.
The worst part is, I would probably develop feelings for a guy who was just willing to be my friend and wait till I got to know him. I'm not like most people in my generation. I have a difficult time sleeping with someone casually, because I feel vulnerable during sex and I have a difficult time letting myself be vulnerable. But the guys I meet don't want to wait for me to be comfortable with them. As a matter of fact, from what I've heard from my few gay friends and what I've learned from the internet, most gay men seem to choose whether a relationship is worth pursuing on the quality of the sex.
For me, the quality of the sex is going to be directly related to the quality of the relationship. If I really like you, I'm going to really enjoy sex with you. You're not going to have to impress me, you don't have to do that really difficult sex position because you think I'll enjoy the experience more. I'm going to enjoy myself if you're enjoying yourself. If I'm going to have sex with you, it's going to be because I have feelings for you, not because I need somebody to help me achieve orgasm. For men, achieving orgasm is one of the easiest things in the world! We can do it with some lotion and tissue paper!
I guess, most of all, I'm just tired of guys trying to make something inorganic grow between us. They just want to rush things, but what I'm looking for is a friend-with-potential-for-more. I just want a guy who I can hang out with in completely non-romantic settings with, and then maybe one day I'll be like, "Oh, shit, I think I might be madly in love with you!" and he'll be like, "Ditto!" And then we can do all the sexy stuff. Or maybe just some of it. Some supposedly sexy things freak me out. (Water sports? WHO THE FUCK FINDS BEING PEED ON SEXY!?)
This may have gotten away from me a bit.
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